Patterns of people in their 30s and 40s (The 1st Pattern)

1. Introduction

The period of 30s and 40s. People in this age period have mostly settled on their careers. A lot of them could also be married. A new life period with new responsibilities and life demands never ends. Those who have missed important things in their childhood, teenage, and youth could also miss them with a high probability in this age period since as you grow older, the habits you built are more deep-rooted in yourself, and it is more difficult to change yourself if you are not accustomed to doing this early. However, there is always a high probability of catching up on what you have missed since you are still living and breathing.

I observed three major different patterns, and they could share common things.

2. Their Life Perspective

Life is now more demanding, having a family and children to support puts more pressure on them. They are constantly thinking about how to make more money for:

  1. Offering a better education for their children.
  2. Living in a bigger home.
  3. Having more life gadgets that seem important from the market point of view. The latest mobile, and car models.
  4. If all of these are satisfied, then why not update our home, live in an even fancier place, or live abroad instead? I have another idea Why not buy two luxurious homes just for vacations, one in the home country, and the other one abroad. We want to live our lives to their fullest, and to enjoy every moment. Pleasure is a target. “I am speaking in their voice here.”

2. How they Make Money

Well, but how could they make money for achieving all these things which seem very demanding? There could be several options:

  1. Work in more than one job.
  2. Seek a high-paying job or for a high-paying company in their career.
  3. They could reopen many businesses that a lot of them fail. They are trying to move with some trend or to move with a certain wave. At the end of the day, maybe one of these businesses will make them the money they want to achieve their endless life desires!

3. Their Ethics

Since this pattern is mostly concerned with money, ethics might not be very important for them. Their ethics are usually the same ethics they acquired before that in their life, but they may not think about improving their ethics, or it seems so hard to change their ethics, and anyway, ethics are not their major concern. Money is their top concern for achieving their life desires.

  1. In their jobs, they want to prove themselves, and to be the best, for climbing the company’s ladder or for making more money. They may not care about sharing information, and they even sometimes deliberately hide some information to be the go-to guy in the company.
  2. In their relationships, they either look for:
    1. Relationships with wealthy people, or people that they could benefit from in some way to make money or climb the company’s ladder.
    2. Relationships with funny people who may be their old school or college friends to just enjoy some time together.
  3. Raising their children. They may have either of the following points of views or a mix between them:
    1. They could see it as not their job, so why do their wives exist? They see themselves as just a source of money. But what if their wives are also working? Well, now they could think about some good babysitter that will do the job. Of course, this kind of people may not be completely aware of what Allah asked them to do in such situations, it may not come into their mind at all since no one taught them this or since they are not concerned with this.
    2. They see that they should support their wives in raising their children. Since, you know, they are their children, and they are supposed to be more caring about them, and of course, they love them. But they don’t think about learning how to raise their children. Again, no one told them how to do so or to search for how to do so if they don’t know although it seems very obvious but their minds are busy achieving their endless life desires.
    3. In the same way they were raised by their parents. They don’t think about wrong behaviors and their possible consequences since this is not their main concern.
  4. Blame whoever out there for anything that happened and seems not good for them. They see that it’s never their fault. They see themselves as the best and should deserve everything while others don’t deserve what they have since they don’t work as hard. They see that people don’t understand him, and if all people were like them, then life will be heaven.
  5. Some of them could be seeking to leave a legacy for people to mention them after their death. So they could want money and recognition as well.

4. What about their health?

  1. Some of them might live a healthy life since acquiring more money needs a healthy body in their perspective.
  2. The other category of them could see that they simply don’t have time for such luxuries. (Criticizing voice tone). Money is more important to them. Therefore, they think that this is one of the items to be postponed after achieving their life desires. They think that their life desires will end someday !!! 🙂

5. How they spend their spare time?

  1. With family, going to whatever place seems to be fun (in their home country, or abroad) without paying attention to anything but having fun.
  2. Hanging out with funny friends.
  3. Watching movies, and playing Playstation. They are old habits but they are still fun and engaging for them.
  4. Going to Cinema.

6. What about the inner voice in them that urges them to do the right things?

What about doing the right things that any of us feels like we should do someday? You know I think it comes to most if not all of us. Well, they are champions in postponing these things. Here are their excuses in the different life periods. They say that they will postpone these things to:

  1. After finishing college
  2. After getting a job
  3. After getting married
  4. After raising the first child. You know how extremely important, and time-demanding this is? 🙂
  5. Then they may have more children and more responsibilities. So after that, they need more money for affording the best education for their children (school then college).
  6. After supporting their children marriages
  7. After this, the sad fact comes to them. Life has passed, no more excuses, their health have degraded a lot that they could barely do the most simple things. They could be retired, have money, and time, but no health since they didn’t invest in it before that. And for the other category of them who have invested in their health, they could still be wanting for money for whatever desires they want, or they could search for other heart pleasures like being famous and being recognized by others.
    And finally, death comes. They don’t understand the fact that time should be allocated, and really exploited according to your priorities.


What do you feel about this pattern? Do you see how fast life moves, and how this pattern keeps repeating itself?

Insha’Allah in the next two posts in this category, I will talk about the left two patterns, and after this Insha’Allah I will talk about one possible solution that may solve some of the problems that appear in these patterns.

Thank you. I hope this post has been beneficial to you. I would appreciate any comments if anyone needed more clarifications or if anyone has seen something wrong in what I have written in order to modify it, and I would also appreciate any possible enhancements or suggestions. We are humans, and errors are expected from us, but we could also minimize those errors by learning from our mistakes and by seeking to improve what we do.

Allah bless our master Muhammad and his family.

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